My front yard is a failed experiement.

This year, we decided to take the front lawn and plant it in wildflowers. I did the research, did the work in prepping the ground, bought a BIG bad of wildflower seeds. Planted them when they said and how they said and sat on the front porch waiting for an explosion of color and polinator friendly flowers. Maybe even more hummingbirds (We have lots of them in the back yard.).

Eight weeks into it, what do we have? An eyesore. In a few days, after I am fully recovered from a bitter bout of pneumonia, I will surrender and cut my grass. my neighbors’ blood pressure will go down. I will cease to be the town eyesore.

I can speculate all I want about what went wrong. Pretty much I followed directions, a thing I am not prone to do. I used a reputable company for the seeds. The weather has been perfect for such an edeavor. But something outside my control took over and I have what I have. An entangled matt of wild grass (I had no idea grass grew that high!).

The yard is something of a microcosm of the past few years since the Pandemic and since my Cancer diagnosis and treatment. I sort of lost a year or two anyway, so I got the bright idea that this was the perfect time to try some new things in work and how I do things. Plus, I have become “of an age” where we are supposed to slow down. I could give it a try.

I have failed miserably on most fronts.

That’s OK, I kept my day jobs. and I have learned so much. When my son was young and so was my divorce, he would often call me on Thursday and give me a list of things to buy. These would generally be some kind of experiment he saw on You Tube. And so when the kids came over, our back stoop became an experiemental lab. Things expolded, fizzed and at times fizzled out. but there was a lot of fun had. And nothing harmed except a few two liter bottles.

The thing is, we had fun. And we learned. Much of the past few years have felt like doldrums for me. A series of failed experiments. But boy has it been good to me. I have learned so much about so many things – technology, dynamics, the politics of life outside my bubble. I really do feel kind of like that kid blowing things up on the back stoop.

“Life is one big science experiement.” My kids and my wife will recognize that phrase. It’s one of maybe a dozen I spout all the time. But it is true. Gloriously true. Sometimes I think we invest too much emotional energy in outcomes, but I tend to be like a kid. I just want to see what happens.

Most of my experiments have done well. I have build companies. Built facilities. Built people up. I have jumped into industries and jobs I had no business being in, done well and had such a good time doing it. My life is rich in stories and relationships because of the zig zag, 10 year old ADHD kid inside who just wants to see what will happen. I am not sure it is for everyone. But it sure has worked well for me. My yard is an outlier.

At 69, I realize how much of my life has been run that way, trying things just to see what happens. And at 69, I am shifting into a new, larger urban church (Keeping my beloved rural Rupert Methodist Church at the same time.) It’s another experiment. I have no idea whether I will fail quietly or succeed spectacularly, but I do know I will have a good time living and serving a whole new group of people. And I am blessed with a wife and family that just cheers me on. I think they want to see what will happen next. Who is more blessed than I?

What fun!

Tom