I try to live a relatively simple life.

I live alone, and that’s OK. I have a small group of friends and family that I treasure and whose presence in my life, if sporadic, energizes me. I have good work to do that is challenging and keeps my brain in trim. I get to create with words and images and that re-invigorates me. I spend a lot of time reading and thinking. I spend a lot of time just watching the world around me.

I have a tendency towards being a hermit, so those few people who are in my life are a special treasure, drawing me out and preventing me from becoming a total recluse. I’ve chosen the work I do for much the same reason.

Because we don’t do well as islands. Even the soul who, like me, is comfortable with who they are and comfortable in aloneness and silence, does better when there are people in their lives as well. I have spent periods of my life isolated. I thought I was OK.

I wasn’t.

A good therapist helped me understand all the ways that isolation harmed me, wore me down, robbed me of resilience. I learned my lesson well and it won’t happen again.

But there has to be a balance. At least for me. I love being with people. I love being with family and friends, my church family, my customers. I love gatherings. But as much as I love them, they drain me. I am recharged by aloneness and quiet. In quiet my thoughts and heart settle and clarity emerges. In quiet, I am energized.

I am the definition of an introvert.

Over the years, some people have disparaged my introvertness, thinking that because I can stand in front of groups and speak, because I am pretty sociable in gatherings, or because I am a pretty proficient manager, that I could not possible be an introvert.

But being sociable is not what being an introvert is about. It’s about what energizes us, where and how we do our best work, where we are our best selves.

When I went through my separation and divorce, my now-ex wife was very generous about “Do you need this, do you want to take that?” We had plenty and she seemed to want me to have enough.

I didn’t take a lot. Part of it was that I just didn’t care about stuff at that point in my life. My heart and spirit were broken. And part of it was that I was moving to a very small little apartment. But I took just enough.

And that was enough. In fact, I discovered that I like the simplicity that less brought to my life. And though my house now is larger and I have more furniture, there is a part of me that still works hard keep it simple.

Right now, that’s a battle.

I am, most weeks, bringing Trooper loads of things from my parent’s house as we empty it for the new owner. I am feeling closed in with the extra furniture, and so much of it is going to the attic, for the day when my kids need furniture for their own homes (which for my daughter may not be that far off, as she graduates from college this spring.). Once the last load of things come in next week, I will again start paring back, again, start simplifying.

Because I am at my best when things around me are simple. A few things. A few friends. Time free to travel, see, think, create.

Sometimes, there are people in our lives that we feel so comfortable with that there is no draining. It is like they are an offshoot of ourselves, and so, for an introvert like me, there is no strain, no drain in being with them. In fact, being with them is as energizing as being alone, with the benefit that you have company and a kindred spirits good energy at your side.

Those are the lifetime people. A blessing. A gift from God.

And inevitably the relationship with them is simple. There’s not a need to do busy things, prove anything, be anything other than yourself. It is safe to be yourself with them, completely yourself. Life, when you are with them, is simple.

Simplicity I have learned, is not so simple. It takes maintenance. It takes self awareness, to know what is important, and what is not. It takes dedication.

But it is, for me at least, worth it. I’ve lived a complex, complicated life, and I’ve lived a simple life. For me, simple is best. It’s worth, always worth, the work.

Be well, Travel wisely,

Tom