Thoughts: Mother’s Day

This morning. I was in church early. I usually am. In small churches, the pastor is the one who gets most things ready. I set up the internet for our distance worshipers. I make the coffee. I get there early enough that once things are set up, I can sit on the back row and pray in the quiet.

Today is Mother’s Day. In a bit there will be flowers on the altar. We will give a sprig to all the mothers and grandmothers in the congregation. It’s a tradition. A small way to honor the mothers who spent so much of their life and hearts being mothers, caring, and loving their children.

I am missing my own mother, dead now for a few years. It has been a while, yes, but at times it feels like yesterday. I miss her this morning. Truth is, I miss her often, but a day like today focused on our mothers, brings that ache to the forefront.

I was lucky in the mother God gave me. She was a good woman. A smart woman. She had compassion and wisdom. She taught me most of the important lessons I needed and still lean on. With only one or two exceptions, all the good traits in me came from her (the other couple came from my dad.). I loved her, but I liked her too. We laughed. Read books and talked. Walked together. Sang together. Her death was sudden. I felt, we all felt, robbed. But she is still with me, In me. In my children. In a lot of people’s hearts. Still. I am grateful, and she is worth honoring. Even if there is a bit of sadness in the honoring.

I celebrate my 6th anniversary in a few days. A second marriage. It has been good for a lot of reasons perhaps one of the best has been how my bride and my children have connected. My kids suffered the worst in my divorce, and part of that was the loss of a mother. They are estranged from their mother – their choice and there was wisdom in that choice. A big dose of needed self-protection. But still, you miss having a mother. I have tried to be a good father, but it is not the same. And one of my blessings in my marriage. has been how she has become their mother. I rejoice in their relationship. At times, they go to her before they go to me, and that does not bother me. That’s what you want for your kids, two parents who love them and who they love and trust. And my kids have that again. My wife was able, is able, to love two more newcomers, and never deprive anyone else of love.

There are plenty of women who have done the same. Mothers without shared blood. It’s a thing.

I am not blind. I know there are plenty of bad mothers out there. I see them often. I have seen the damage they do. But I have also see what a good mother can do and it is amazing. I have seen both in my family. I know the difference. I know the power of a good mother. I am grateful to have had one. I hope you have too.

And if you haven’t I hope that experience has affected you in a way that you can be a good mother to someone else. Maybe your own children, Maybe someone else’s. I don’t just hope. I pray. I’ve seen women with bad experiences with their own mothers become wonderful moms.

So, before everyone came in this morning. I simply wanted to pray thanks. To my mom. To my wife. To the good mothers I know, and the children and grandchildren made better for them. It’s work being a mom. You make a hundred choices every week that make you a good mom. And those of us left behind are eternally in your debt.

Be well. Travel wisely.


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