It would be Simpler

It would be simpler, I think
to be pure, all one thing
or another,
to not have decisions
that battle inside you
an internal civil war,
self against self,
sure to win,
sure to lose,
the victory less important
than the casualties.

It would be simpler, I think
to be pure, to love
without fear, headlong
like a child,
no minuet of mixed feelings
playing in your heart,
slowing the music
to a dirge.

It would be simpler I think,
to be simply strong or weak,
a clear character,
less interesting perhaps,
but more reliable,
more able to stand unwavering
in the midst of loss and war,
never in mist, always in sunshine
and glory, instead

of this mad stew of sacred and profane
that is your heart,
always searching, always
dancing in the shifting wind,
wondering that God would make such
a capricious creature and still somehow
love him.

About this poem. 

Mixed feelings. Mixed emotions. I hate them. But they are a part of me.

Tom