Poem: All I Want to do is Sleep

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All I Want to Do is Sleep

What I want to do,
more than anything,
is sleep.

There is no pain in sleep.
No demons.
All the hard things disappear.

No one needs me.
No one wants me.
There are no expectations
that I may or may not meet.

It is my sanctuary,
a false one perhaps,
but sanctuary none the less.

All I want to do, is sleep.
Lost in the blackness,
in the dreams. A rest
without rest, Easier and exhausting both.

But here you are,
light coming in the window.
The cats call.
Downstairs, the woman you love is rustling.

It is showtime.
And the show must go on.
All you want to do is sleep,
but you know it’s dangers too well.
That way lies death

to all that is important to you.
Love. Relationship. The work.
Your determination to make a difference
whether you are feeling it or not.

There is a life to lead.
All you want to do is sleep.
But it will wait.
Your foot hits the floor. 

Cold and hard.
Groggy, you dance to the dresser.
no one dances in their sleep.
Your demons curse you.
Some days, you curse yourself.
But you dance, a day to begin.

About this poem

My depression is the worst early in the morning. It is a battle to get moving each day. As many of you know, my mantra in the morning is “It’s showtime!”.

Even if I am only showing myself.

Love you all,

Tom

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