Worth the Sunburn
The sun is a little too bright.
Your eyes squint as you drive,
feeling silly reaching for the sunglasses
to dull the very light you have prayed for all these years.
You wonder, as a tear drips out of the corner
of your right eye, if the world has always been this bright
and you have been half blind the whole time,
or has something changed fundamentally
and now the sun shines even in the rain.
You wonder, how this is. How this long journey
out of the night has finally found the destination
you have sought so long, and you wonder
if you can trust it If you can trust the light
that fled from you so many years ago
or is it a trap? Is your half blindness less about light
than the ever-changing interplay of cloud and sun,
of seasons that dance and change too quickly
for you to adjust?
Certainly, you know you have missed the icebergs.
Missed the storm fronts, seeing them too late,
after the damage was done. A slow kind of sight.
You breathe in the light. Wallow in it a while.
No matter the whys. You can see it now.
This too brightness, long sought. Finally found.
It’s worth the sunburn.
About this poem
I have been easing off my depression medicine (With the consent of my doctor.) for some time now. Finding out, after all these years how much of the improvement is based on doing the work and how much was medication. Seems most of it is the work. (Falling in love has not hurt either.).
The past few years have been a journey back to myself. And in each step, there has been a new language to learn. A new way to see. Myself and the world around me. Life never changes, it seems.
The world has been particularly bright the past few days. I don’t know if it is me or the light itself. Yeah, that’s where I live most of the time, gloriously uncertain.
Be well. Travel wisely.
[…] the mood of this morning’s poem. I am eating lunch alone, looking out at the rain. And the sunshine. Both. And the thunder. There […]